Busting a loudmouth: Does it get any better than this?

droolie · #1 04-28-2005, 02:27 PM

I was playing limit HE on party last night and ran into one of the most remarkable assholes I've ever encountered on the internet. The guy was an utter maniac who seemed to think that needling his opponents was the right thing to do.

Every time he won a pot he would say something nasty. "Thanks you fish," and "You are terrible," or some derivative of those thoughts seemed to be his favorite lines. He would say this crap even after he made the most ridiculously terrible suckout. Players would call him on his bad play and he would continue mindlessly calling them fish. Whenever he won and didn't see the other players hole cards he would state that they had made a bad bluff and he had caught them. Whenever he would win a pot on a bluff he would show his hand and say "nice fold you fish"

This was limit poker but at one point he was HU against a player who was almost all-in on the river, one more bet and he would have been all-in, the a-hole was saying how he hated to bust the guy but that he hoped he would rebuy after the hand. He was so busy typing that he actually took too much time so that he clocked out and his hand was folded before he could bet (it was HU and he was first to act) It was truly hysterical.

Whenever he lost a hand he would get very insulting. I was playing under a female account and he kept calling me a whore and telling me to suck his cock etc.

Now I hardly ever respond to this kind of stuff but this guy was off the charts. When this all started I was about to go to bed because it was late and I realized I was probably a little tiltly from some pisspoor play on other tables earlier in the evening (I hadn't played in 10 days and was not on my game). I said nh to him after he 3 outed me on the river for the second time only to be called fish and whore in return.

After the second suckout I guess I lost it. On most other nights I would have found him mildly amusing but at this point I wasn't in the mood to let it go. I closed all my other tables and made it my mission to bust this guy.

He was a maniac but not the worst I've seen. He could fold in the face of aggression from time to time and probably had 50/40/5 type numbers. He had about 40BB left at the table when I told him to enjoy the money he had just won from me but that it was just a loan that I would be getting back with interest. He told me he was going to put his cock in my ass. I told him he'd have to take it out of his mothers first. I also told him that not only would I beat him tonight but that he had made my buddy list and I would be following him around whenever he played from now on. He responded by challenging me to 15/30 HU. It never happened.

The rest of the table was all riled up at this point too as his insults weren't only aimed at me. The table became somewhat of a feeding frenzy. It really seemed like it was 9 against 1 for about an hour. The table tightened up dramatically and everyone took turns trying to isolate the a-hole. Even the a-hole tightened up pf but was still a maniac in every pot he entered. He would get down under 20BB and then go on a tear and get back up to 40BB again. It was really some of the funniest poker I've ever seen.

The night ended with me taking his last 25BB on three successive hands.

The first was when I flopped a str8 from the BB and he hit a set. After that hand I knew he was on tilt. He was going nuts in the chatbox.

The next hand I isolated him with pocket two's and let every street get capped UI. I was practically holding my breath when he finally called the river cap. He didn't show when the pot when the pot was pushed to me so I have no idea what he had but I assume it was A high. More profanity in the chatbox.

The last hand I had AQ and isolated him again. This time the flop hit my Q. I had just shown down 22 UI and was thinking that if he played back at me again he'd have to have something reasonably strong now especially since he only had about 8BB left. I got him all-in. After the carnage was played out it turns out I had outkicked him. LOL! Thanks you fish! Before I put in the last raise I told him to please rebuy after I won the hand. I wasn't done screwing him yet. He didn't. He quietly left. Pwned!

It was sad seeing him go but I don't think I've ever felt quite so happy with myself at a poker table as I did at that moment.

Anybody with a simlar story or comments on mine are welcome.

tylerdurden · #2 04-28-2005, 03:03 PM

ni han. [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

Dariel86 · #3 04-28-2005, 03:05 PM

Justice! [img]/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

BottlesOf · #4 04-28-2005, 03:08 PM

Maybe not handled optimally, but [censored] it, score one for the good guys!

flyangler · #5 04-28-2005, 05:39 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Maybe not handled optimally, but [censored] it, score one for the good guys!

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah screw him, I hate that shiznit. BTW why a female account? Seems kinda kinky... [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

MEbenhoe · #6 04-28-2005, 03:30 PM

What limit were you playing? This wasn't me, but I like to [censored] around like that every once in awhile (often after a night of drinking) at like .25/.5 or .5/1. It's likely thats what that guy was doing.

On the other hand. I've found it a lot of fun to just talk goofy at a regular table while playing, cuz it loosens everyone up and then they have fun. The other night I got my table to replace the word fish with burrito, good times.

droolie · #7 04-28-2005, 11:24 PM

[ QUOTE ]
What limit were you playing? This wasn't me, but I like to [censored] around like that every once in awhile (often after a night of drinking) at like .25/.5 or .5/1. It's likely thats what that guy was doing.

On the other hand. I've found it a lot of fun to just talk goofy at a regular table while playing, cuz it loosens everyone up and then they have fun. The other night I got my table to replace the word fish with burrito, good times.

[/ QUOTE ]

This was micros. .50/1. I'm reasonably sure the guy was having fun and was not really serious. He probably was drunk. It was quite obnoxious though and he was writing the type of stuff that usually gets someone reported to party managament. At the core I think he was trying his hardest to get people to give him more action as he was a maniac and wanted big pots. It worked but he wound up paying far too high a % of each pot as he was very often HU with an inferior starting hand.

[ QUOTE ]
BTW why a female account? Seems kinda kinky... [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]
My wife has an account. She's a whore.

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Haha, well done Droolie.

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The next hand I isolated him with pocket two's and let every street get capped UI. I was practically holding my breath when he finally called the river cap.

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You got balls for this one man. [img]/images/graemlins/shocked.gif[/img]

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I just looked up the HH. Here it is. I guess I lied a little but little lies make a good fish story. LOL!

Hand 2:

Party Poker 0.5/1 Hold'em (8 handed) converter

Preflop: Hero is UTG with 2[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img], 2[img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img].
Hero raises, 2 folds, MP2 3-bets, 4 folds, Hero caps, MP2 calls.

Flop: (9.50 SB) 5[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img], 5[img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img], J[img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img] (2 players)
Hero bets, MP2 raises, Hero 3-bets, MP2 caps, Hero calls.

Turn: (8.75 BB) 7[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img] (2 players)
Hero bets, MP2 calls.

River: (10.75 BB) 8[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] (2 players)
Hero bets, MP2 calls.

Final Pot: 12.75 BB

Results below:
Hero has 2c 2d (two pair, fives and twos).
MP2 has 6h Tc (one pair, fives).
Outcome: Hero wins 12.75 BB.

Yeah he called me down with T high. LOL!

[ QUOTE ]
So you went on tilt and got some big hands against a maniac? Niiiiiiiiice.

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I like your Cliff Notes. Can I subscribe to your newsletter?

I actually was on tilt but was truly trying to play my best poker. The tilt manifested itself in the form of loose chat talk not loose play. I play the 22 hand like that against a tilting maniac anyday.

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
He responded by challenging me to 15/30 HU. It never happened.

[/ QUOTE ]

Why on Earth not???

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I wanted to on some level but I just let it go. HU is not my game. I knew I could beat him at full ring if given enough time but HU I'm not quite as macho. I gotta brush up on that so next time I can call him out.

If you guys want to critique hands 1 and 3 here they are...my memory wasn't too good on these either (they were one orbit but not successive)

Hand 1:
Party Poker 0.5/1 Hold'em (9 handed) converter

Preflop: Hero is BB with 7[img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img], 4[img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img].
2 folds, MP1 raises, 3 folds, Button calls, SB calls, Hero calls.

Flop: (8 SB) 3[img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img], 5[img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img], 6[img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img] (4 players)
SB checks, Hero bets, MP1 calls, Button folds, SB calls.

Turn: (5.50 BB) 2[img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img] (3 players)
SB checks, Hero bets, MP1 raises, SB folds, Hero 3-bets, MP1 caps, Hero calls.

River: (13.50 BB) 8[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img] (2 players)
Hero bets, MP1 raises, Hero 3-bets, MP1 calls.

Final Pot: 19.50 BB

Results below:
Hero has 7s 4s (straight, eight high).
MP1 has 3s 3h (three of a kind, threes).
Outcome: Hero wins 19.50 BB.

Hand 3:

Party Poker 0.5/1 Hold'em (9 handed) converter

Preflop: Hero is BB with Q[img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img], A[img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img].
UTG calls, UTG+1 calls, MP1 raises, 2 folds, CO calls, 2 folds, Hero calls, UTG calls, UTG+1 calls.

Flop: (10.50 SB) 8[img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img], 6[img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img], Q[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img] (5 players)
Hero checks, UTG checks, UTG+1 checks, MP1 bets, CO calls, Hero raises, UTG folds, UTG+1 folds, MP1 3-bets, CO calls, Hero caps, MP1 calls, CO calls.

Turn: (11.25 BB) 4[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] (3 players)
Hero bets, MP1 raises, CO folds, Hero 3-bets, MP1 caps, Hero calls.

River: (19.25 BB) 7[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] (2 players)
Hero bets, MP1 calls $0.55 (All-In).

Final Pot: 20.80 BB

Results below:
Hero has Qs Ad (one pair, queens).
MP1 has Qh Ts (one pair, queens).
Outcome: Hero wins 20.79 BB.

Justin A · #8 04-29-2005, 01:57 AM

So you lied about capping every street with 22. Cool, man.

rewt75 · #9 04-29-2005, 02:01 AM

I was at that table with you. I made a comment about you deserving that pot after you finally won after getting sucked out on a few times.

Nice job busting him out.

droolie · #10 04-29-2005, 08:30 AM

[ QUOTE ]
I was at that table with you. I made a comment about you deserving that pot after you finally won after getting sucked out on a few times.

Nice job busting him out.

[/ QUOTE ]

Sweet. I was wondering if there were any other 2+2ers there. I figured there must have been the way the table tightened up.