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Dear Bison: September 2005
Y'all know the drill. I am an internet celebrity and many of you are febrile gambling junkies with the life wisdom of fruit flies.
Ask me a question in the form of 'Dear Bison,' and, so long as it is not idiotic, I will do my best to respond with the kind of concentrated insight most often found when waking up soaked in someone else's blood. |
#2
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Re: Dear Bison: September 2005
Dear Bison,
I am standing on Bourbon Street and my knees are wet. What should I do? |
#3
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Re: Dear Bison: September 2005
[ QUOTE ]
Dear Bison, I am standing on Bourbon Street and my knees are wet. What should I do? [/ QUOTE ] Lie down flat on your back and ignore the sensation of water filling your lungs. |
#4
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Re: Dear Bison: September 2005
Dear Bison,
Who's going to win the Super Bowl? |
#5
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Re: Dear Bison: September 2005
Dear mia,
I like LA's chances this year. |
#6
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Re: Dear Bison: September 2005
[ QUOTE ]
Dear mia, I like LA's chances this year. [/ QUOTE ] Eh, they're a little thin on defense. |
#7
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Re: Dear Bison: September 2005
Dear Bison,
My mediocrity is very accomplished in many realms, including my poker playing. However I have found that I truly excel at being a drunken tiltmonkey, burning through impressive hunks of cash during allnighter sessions fueled by drugs and alcohol. Should I quit my gambling to focus on my drinking? Sometimes I feel like I'm being pulled everywhichway, and I just don't know what to do. Other times, in moments of clarity, I think my true calling may be to lie in a gutter somewhere and mumble racial epithets at passerbys. What do you suggest? If I should pursue the latter, do you think I could find a mentor or a coach? Thank you, you've been so very, very kind. |
#8
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Re: Dear Bison: September 2005
Inchoate,
Alcoholism is like masturbation - if you can't figure it out for yourself, you'll never enjoy it anyways. |
#9
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Re: Dear Bison: September 2005
Where is BigSteve?
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#10
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Re: Dear Bison: September 2005
Dear mslif,
It takes work to maintain that wardrobe. |
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