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#1
08-31-2005, 11:37 PM
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Open letter to myself: admitting my shame
my biggest leak is playing in a bad state of mind. i always imagine the massive poker earnings will die out because of the low level of skill needed to earn these amounts, eventually the equilibrium shall balance. i'm thinking that while in a few years poker earn will be lower i don't think by that much. while poker doesn't take much skill it takes a vey rare personality type. abilty to learn, has to be high yet less than genius/very high. you need an obsessive personality. a self awareness. self honesty, ability to admit you were wrong is so rare. i have some of the skills but the none tilt, commitment and understand of the value of money skills i do not have. being young it is very hard to understand the difference between $xxxk and > $xxxk. the utility of the extra is so small in comparison to the original $xxxk, youth stupidy i guess. eventually when the games get tougher everything i have earned will go back into the poker community and solomon warning shall be correct about yet another idiot.
2 weeks ago i decided to donate 10% of my poker earnings to any charity, for selfish reasons, in the hopes of losing my tilt and understanding the value of money. so far this hasn't worked. today i made a $2k mistake which could have been avoid with more complete thought and 10 minutes ago, i made a $2k mistake which should have been avoided my not playing drunk, yes, i am that stupid. in total, that's $400 less NO gets because of my inability. so the reason for this post is because my image on 2+2 means a lot to me, my ego needs to be furfilled by people i respect, posting this, admitting i do some utterly stupid [censored] will cancel that. after that i'm not player to bust the medicore, to out do them, for pride or for respect, it should only be about winning money. PokerStars No-Limit Hold'em, $20 BB (3 handed) converter SB ($2155) Hero ($1752) Button ($1460) Preflop: Hero is BB with 6[img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img], 8[img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img]. <font color="#666666">1 fold</font>, SB completes, <font color="#CC3333">Hero raises to $77</font>, SB calls $57. Flop: ($154) K[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img], 8[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img], 7[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img] <font color="#0000FF">(2 players)</font> SB checks, <font color="#CC3333">Hero bets $133</font>, <font color="#CC3333">SB raises to $300</font>, <font color="#CC3333">Hero raises to $1000</font>, <font color="#CC3333">SB raises to $2078</font>, Hero calls $675 (All-In). Turn: ($3907) 4[img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img] <font color="#0000FF">(2 players, 1 all-in)</font> River: ($3907) 3[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] <font color="#0000FF">(2 players, 1 all-in)</font> Final Pot: $3907 so stupid. 
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#4
09-01-2005, 12:10 AM
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Jay. .
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#5
09-01-2005, 12:12 AM
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Re: Jay. .
[ QUOTE ]
Just in case you needed to read this again. . Your Words [/ QUOTE ] I hoped everyone forgot about that [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img] How did you remember that post by just the word town? Rereading this post once again makes me understand how hard it is to balance every problem that comes in poker. silly things like c/r'ing too much or too little cost but things like being too obsessive or too distant matter so much. there are so so many of these, and they are very hard to eventually balance. when i writen that post i was very obsessive, thankfully i've had good friends who kept me balanced, but since i've become too carefree. the obsessive learning paid off and the money followed but now my lack of learning and carefee attitude is my biggest fight. i would also like to thank the people who replied to me in the first thread. at the time i wasn't humble enough to study advice - i was 18 - now i finally grasp that.
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#7
09-01-2005, 12:18 AM
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Re: Jay. .
Last fall when I compiled the two "Retro" posts of the 2+2 classic NL hands I came across it. .I remembered reading it right after you posted it originally and thought it was the greatest thing on poker I've ever read (and I've read a lot).
The line that stuck out to me was something like "naked in the town square for all to see". . . .naturally I figured town would do the trick. . I do have total recall of everything that happens at 2+2 though. Good luck mate.
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#8
09-01-2005, 12:39 AM
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Re: Open letter to myself: admitting my shame
The only competition worthy of a wise man is with himself.
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#9
09-01-2005, 12:45 AM
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Re: Open letter to myself: admitting my shame
I believe a lot of the people who love the game, study hard, and play very often are obsessive people, we love money. I'm also obsessive and have had some problems in the past but I'm getting over them. I think the key to almost always playing well and being in the right state of mind is balancing your life. You need to make time for your job, school, family, friends and poker too. If all you do is breathe poker I think it hurts you more than it helps you. Go out with your friends, spend a little time with your family, just do something you take your mind off of poker for a bit and it'll keep your head clear for when you hit the tables.
Balance and control.
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