SpearsBritney, I'm waiting

[natedogg]

Waiting for that marvelous 2 page exposition you promised in
this post

"If in the next 2 weeks, Iran, Syria, or any other country that fits the oil agenda, does not get invaded or bombed, or legislation for a military draft has not been passed (either US or EU), I will concede that every single one of my posts are wrong, and write a 2 page essay on what a fcukin retard I am."

If you want to quibble I suppose I'd be willing to wait until tomorrow.

natedogg

[[censored]]

AHAHAHAHA Oh man, Natedog is great.

[SpearsBritney]

Sh!t, I forgot about that. Gimme a day or two.

[SpearsBritney]

I guess I'll be off your ignore list for a while, huh?

[SpearsBritney]

What A Fcukin Retard I Am - By SpearsBritney


I'm not quite sure if I should be writing about the retarded things I do, or the cause of my retardation. So I will try to include both. I will start off with the retarded things I do, and later explain why I do them. I have also never before written an essay (high school dropout), so please excuse any formalities I might overlook.


I am a retard. Almost everything I do is retarded. Everything I say is stupid, and everything I've ever posted about 911, terrorism, or the government is wrong. Even if it were true, making such ridiculous, far-fetched predictions is not only -EV, but totally unnecessary.


I am now convinced that I have absolutely no idea what I'm talking about when it comes to these matters, and will keep my big mouth shut from now on. Trying to convince the few inhabitants of 2+2’s Politics forum, of things I obviously know nothing about, is a complete waste of time anyway.


To think that the world is run by a cabal of ultra-wealthy men who prey upon the unsuspecting world population for profit and power, with no consideration for anything other than their own selfish agenda, while at the same time, miraculously convincing the masses that they are free, and in control of their own lives, is nothing short of preposterous.


So why am I so retarded you ask? I'm not quite sure, but I think there's some hereditary factors at play. Also, I ate a lot of crayons as a kid. Not going to school probably has a lot to do with it too. But I think the main culprits are those goddamn conspiracy websites I stumbled upon years ago. I mean, they actually had me convinced that there was some sort of "shadow-government" operating behind the scenes, pulling the strings of these phony puppet-politicians they dance before us on the evening news. Can you believe that? What a fcukin' mind-job! I now realize that's all just crazy-talk.


Well, after all of that, I'm happy to report that with the help of Zyprexa®, I am seeing things a lot more clearly now, although I do still get the odd paranoid delusion from time to time (see recent KWAZAR thread). But aside from that, I can now sit comfortably and watch CNN® or Fox News®, and believe everything they tell me without question. I can watch the Terror Alert level go from yellow to orange, and become scared out of my wits like a sane person, and not even for a second think it's just being used to promote some outlandish agenda.


Yup, I can honestly say I'm back to normal and feeling good. Back to the good old days when I could obediently pick up a copy of Time® magazine and conjure up unspeakable hatred for all of those evil-doers over there in the Middle East that want to do evil to us. Iraq, Iran, Syria, where ever! Just get those goddamn terrorists! U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.!


Sincerely,

SpearsBritney




(P.S. I know it's not quite two pages, but I really don't give a sh!t)

[Felix_Nietsche]

Now say it with FEELING. [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]