GOING PRO!!!! Dedicated to LImitPlayer

soundgarden4 · #1 01-13-2005, 06:35 PM

So I’ve decided to go pro.

I’m a 22 year old college dropout working at a full service gas station. I currently am making $6.00 an hour plus tips which usually comes to about an extra dollar an hour. Don’t forget to tip your attendants you cheap A’holes. Anyways, I’ve been 6 tabling .5/1 on Party and have completely crushed it for 2BB/100 for the past two weeks, which has to be at least 20,00 hands. I don’t have pokertracker, so all these stats are just estimations on my part, but it doesn’t really matter too much. I have this Jedi sense about this stuff.

So my family is on welfare since my dad got laid off of work like 2 months ago. He wants everyone in our family to pick up some of the slack so I decided playing poker was the best way to make money quick. My parents don’t know that I’m going to quit my job and I’m not going to tell them. My sister has decided to start hooking and we decided that keeping our new jobs a secret would be best for both of us. It kind of sucks when your friends come over and leave $20 bills on your sisters dresser and tell her to keep the change, this right after your 23s flopped flush played from the UTG got busted by a higher flush on the river. F all those Party chasing fish. I hate them all.

Anyways I’m not looking for any advice, just felt like posting this here so that everyone knows what I’m doing. I don’t read much strategy stuff here, but I always check out the Internet Gambling and WPT forums for the true poker information. PM me if you’re a professional player too and we can talk about our high society jobs. That’s just wrong, my best friend came out of the bathroom with just his boxers on and my sister followed in only a towel. Then she says that this ones free, but the next one will cost him. Now he’s telling me how “sweet” my sister is and that he couldn’t last 5 minutes pounding that ass. My friends are bastards. Time to crush some PP fish ass. Keepin’ it real in ’05.

droolie · #2 01-13-2005, 06:40 PM

Glad to hear your sister is going pro too.

Sasnak · #3 01-13-2005, 06:48 PM

I didn't think sis was that good, but man was your momma a fine piece. By the way, I grabbed the last Mtn Dew on the way out. Tell your pappy you need another fridge pack.

soundgarden4 · #4 01-13-2005, 06:54 PM

You know that Mountain Dew is being rationed out and you didn’t leave the 60 cents on the counter. My dad is going to be mad pissed and now I’m going to get a paddling. Thanks a lot, because of you I’m going to sh’t blood tonight.

La Brujita · #5 01-13-2005, 07:07 PM

Very funny post. I enjoyed it.

Xelent · #6 01-13-2005, 09:22 PM

What's your sisters number?

Grisgra · #7 01-13-2005, 11:21 PM

You need someone to stake you?

Get your mind out of the gutter . . . you know what I mean. How much would you need? You're clearly a pro.

soundgarden4 · #8 01-14-2005, 10:58 AM

We obviously don't have a phone and you know it. I can't believe someone would make such a comment like that. You don't have to rub it in that my family is super poor. I HATE MY LIFE and everyone in it. PEACE IN THE MIDDLE EAST.

Sasnak · #9 01-14-2005, 05:09 PM

You're not the actual Scott of the "Scott's sister" fame are you?

lacky · #10 01-14-2005, 05:30 PM

I think going pro is clearly the right move. I mean, what could you possible have to lose at this point? I would recommend those sound cancelling headphones though. The sister banging your friends in the next room can very distracting. If it doesn't work out have your sister hook you up. As you are going to be bleeding out your (deleted for delicate ears) anyway you might as well give male prostitusion a go.