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Old 09-14-2005, 03:54 AM
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Default My mind is melting, don\'t know what to do, don\'t know what to think.

- By "BB" I mean Big Blinds. -
Introducing myself: I've been playing NL Holdem for an year right now, started at PS pennies with a 50$ deposit, always won my couple dollars... Grew up on the game till NL100. Beat all those even lower limits and raised my limits whenever I had 50 times the buyin for the new table. Read some books about the game, always read 2+2 forums for info on hands and more theory to my knowledge.
Seems fine, doesn't it? Yeah, but something terrible is happening to me: I'm losing. Badly. Last 15 days I lost 1700BB (1000 of those were during the last TWO days).
This is driving me crazy and I don't know what to do. I consider it a bad luck streak, losing AA to 36, to K8, to KK, to AK. Not hitting my set on 35 pocket pairs in a row and on the 36th when I hit I win a 7BB pot. When I have a good hand, people own me @ turn or river. When I don't have a good hand I hit something pretty good to make me think I have it, but I don't. Like on this heads up that I lost 100BB with KQ flop KK8 and the guy had AK, he slowplayed me and beat me, maybe I was already on tilt on this one, but whatever.
I'm not saying those never happen, I'm not saying those are never supposed to happen. What I want you guys to know is: it is UNREAL to be happening as much as it is. Every single day I lost, on average, 4+ pots that I had 83%++ to win at the crucial part of the pot and 2+ pots with 92%++.
Wathever. Bad beats happens. And sometimes they do happen a lot like they are happening right now. My doubt is: how to control myself?
Every single day I wake up to play poker I think "today the bad luck will be gone, I know it will be gone". I start the day winning... 50BB, 100BB, 150BB. Then 1 big bad beat happens. I get back to where I started. I grow up to 50BB again and 2 bad beats happen. I go to -100 or -150 and then things only get worse.
I'm starting to lose confidence on myself. I tell my bad beats to friends and they simply don't believe me, what makes me feel even more sad with myself cause they say thats all LIES that I'm telling them and that my bad streak is IMPOSSIBLE to be happening. They say I'm playing bad and they don't believe my beats.
It's all making me feel shitty with/about myself. I'm starting to not believe in basic theories, in math... Man, when a poker player start losing faith on the math of the game... What should he do?

I'm desperate. I can't control myself after I stop playing... I can't think about anything else other then my losses. I don't have will to hang out or to do something else cause I've put so much effort to this game and now all this [censored] [censored] is happening.
What should I do to raise up my confidence on myself, on poker, on everything?

Thanks in advance for any feedback.
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