opening to my essay

[housenuts]

how's this as an opening to my essay that was due 2 weeks ago?

The problem with an advanced society is that with each new development, life becomes easier. Technology enables machines to do work that otherwise would have to be done by manpower. New materials and clothing keep the men and women warm rather than forcing them become accustomed to adverse conditions. Improvements in medicine and the preparation and storage of food create immune systems that are not prepared to deal with the removal of these developments. At the turn of the century Britain was arguably the most advanced nation. One could surmise that this enabled them to lead a relatively easy and luxurious lifestyle. Certainly the hardships they had to go through on a daily basis were less than that of the average Boer of South Africa, or even inhabitants of Canada. This meant that Britain’s men were becoming weak.

if you can think of better anecdotes than the 3 i listed please share.