A hypothetical quarterlife crisis post...

[jakethebake]

Why do people try to spare your feelings?

Let's talk about a completely hypothetical scenario. Two people are good friends. They're close. They share a lot, seem to have a lot in common, talk ever day, etc.

One person may or may not have done something, said something the other didn't like. Maybe not. Maybe the other person just got bored and wants to move on to other friends. Shouldn't the person tell him/her that? Shouldn't they at least have the emotional fortitude to just tell them instead of dragging it out for weeks occasionally throwing little signals? Or worse yet sending mixed signals? Or even worse yet, just pretending to be too busy until the one person has to find out from a mutual friend what the deal is? That they've been telling other people things behind their back?

Why does a person do this anyway? Are they scared to communicate? Are they afraid of what the other person will do to hurt them? Is it to uncomfortable to just end it? OPr do they just want to have a back-up plan in case the new friends don't work out?

Do they think you really care enough that it matters in the long-term? Isn't it much better for everyone to just say something so everyone can move on?

I just don't understand people that won't communicate.

Feelings are ugly and messy. Most people avoid stepping in dog [censored] when they can.

I agree with you though. Much easier to make a clean break. I think a lot of people just don't know how to or don't how the other person will react.

[jakethebake]

But I just don't get this. It makes no sense to me. Don't people realize that things will only get messier over time? Obviously this situation is not hypothetical. This is someone that is/was very important to me. It's someone I trusted a lot. It's someone I told a lot of things to that I maybe shouldn't. [img]/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img]

Or maybe the person that told me was full fo [censored]. And maybe it's all in my head and the other person has just been busy and distant for other reasons. [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

[Mason Hellmuth]

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Obviously this situation is not hypothetical. This is someone that is/was very important to me. It's someone I trusted a lot. It's someone I told a lot of things to that I maybe shouldn't. [img]/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img]

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Her?

In response to your stealth edit:

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I just don't understand people that won't communicate.

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So ask your friend what's going on. This is especially important since you can't trust your source.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Obviously this situation is not hypothetical. This is someone that is/was very important to me. It's someone I trusted a lot. It's someone I told a lot of things to that I maybe shouldn't. [img]/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img]

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Her?

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nice hand [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[captZEEbo1]

It kind've seems like you've burned all bridges if you end a relationship directly. By avoiding the situation, it leaves doubt to the person somehow, whether you wanted to end the relationship or there was something else going on in your life.

[jakethebake]

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It kind've seems like you've burned all bridges if you end a relationship directly. By avoiding the situation, it leaves doubt to the person somehow, whether you wanted to end the relationship or there was something else going on in your life.

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Yes. This is what I hate about the whole thing. Uncertainty sucks.

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Are they afraid of what the other person will do to hurt them? Is it too uncomfortable to just end it?


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yes.


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It's someone I trusted a lot. It's someone I told a lot of things to that I maybe shouldn't. [img]/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img]



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this isn’t like a friend of your wife or anything is it?


I'm sure you read the other thread that said don't ever confide secrets to a girl. Honestly you should have known that Jake.

[jakethebake]

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this isn’t like a friend of your wife or anything is it?

I'm sure you read the other thread that said don't ever confide secrets to a girl. Honestly you should have known that Jake.

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Why would I be friends with a friend of my wife? [img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

[diebitter]

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Why would I be friends with a friend of my wife? [img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

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Adds to the excitement?