How to play B&M poker like a complete retard

[DrewOnTilt]

This is for everyone who thinks that suckouts and crappy play only happen on Party. Let me share with everyone some of the lessons that the 2+2ers learned in Atlantic City this weekend. Nice meeting you guys, by the way!

Lesson #1: Do not ever raise preflop, EVER. Are you paying attention, Jar? Do not EVER raise preflop with AJs, because the person who has told you repeatedly that you should not raise preflop because "people call you with anything" will call two bets cold with K7o and spike a King. See, Jar? You just lost money.

Lesson #2: It is a +EV move to know what your opponent holds before the flop. Therefore, when the cards are dealt, rather than make the customary move of peeking at your own hole cards, you should instead peek at the cards dealt to the person to your left. Ok, that wasn't one of the tourists, that was me [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

Lesson #3: Always suck out on TT when given the chance.

Lesson #4: Beautiful women love to hear dorky men talk about poker. Really, they eat it up.

Lesson #5: You are a genius if you play out a hand this way:

I get in a preflop raising war with Jar. Should be a classic horserace showdown between my A [img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img]K [img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img] and his Q [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img]Q [img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img]

If you are an Atlantic City poker genius, you will call 3 bets cold preflop with 4 [img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img]2 [img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img] Why? I quote: "I had SPADES, man!"

When you do this, you will catch your flush. This gives you the right to brag about how smart you are and how dumb Jar and I are, because it is not good to raise before the flop. See, Jar? You were not paying attention to Lesson #1.

Seriously - my poker nets can't catch all of these fish. Feel free to come help any time.

Nice meeting you guys.

[cardcounter0]

It is true. Spades are like 10 times more powerful than Clubs. Only call two bets cold with 42 clubs, but with spades - cap it!

[asofel]

[ QUOTE ]
If you are an Atlantic City poker genius, you will call 3 bets cold preflop with 4 [img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img]2 [img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img] Why? I quote: "I had SPADES, man!"

Seriously - my poker nets can't catch all of these fish. Feel free to come help any time.

Nice meeting you guys.

[/ QUOTE ]

A friend of mine once asked if suited black was worth anything. I'll never let him forget it.