Two very similar stories

[Ulysses]

From a couple nights ago:

I met a buddy for beers. He tells me he needs to show me something and pulls out his Treo to show me a picture. It's him and some kid. His 9-year-old daughter he just found out about! Some random chick he slept with twice then never saw again.

Good times.

From about a year ago:

Different buddy goes out w/ girl in high school or college. Few years later, he is back home, sees chick at party. He and some buddies are going to Vegas, he invites her, they have great weekend, he comes back to SF. Soon after, she calls him, ask him what's up with them, he is like, uh, nothing, etc.

Fast forward a year. He is back home, again doing a Vegas trip w/ some buddies. He calls up chick, asks her to come again. She waffles and consents. He picks her up at her house. A friend of hers is their w/ a baby, house-sitting or something. On the way back from Vegas, chick mentions that baby is his. WTF? He says no way, they don't talk more, he comes back to SF.

Fast forward 11 years. He gets a call. It is this chick. She says she needs to talk to him as she might have breast cancer. Her TWO kids are his. 11 and 12yo boy and girl. Both from the Vegas trips! He does paternity, etc., and sure enough, they are both his.

He moves back home after a few months to develop relationship w/ kids and see if there's something w/ chick. He finds out that she had tricked some other dude into thinking they were his and had married him, but they got divorced when he found out it was all BS. So then she made up the whole cancer thing. He tells her to [censored] off. He still has a relationship w/ his kids, but is now living with the 23yo realtor who showed him and the mother of his kids the house they were going to move into together.

Good times.