Overcoming Liberalism: A 12-Step Program

[sameoldsht]

It's been a while since I first posted this and many here have still not helped themselves by going through the program.

So here it is again, for your benefit. I suggest that libs resolve to complete the program for their New Years resolution.

Overcoming Liberalism: A 12-Step Program

Step 1: Admitting that you're a liberal

This is the first step for every liberal on the way to recovery. It is important to understand that you're not "progressive", "moderate", or "enlightened". You're a liberal, and you need to be honest with yourself about that fact.

Step 2: Pledge to support your beliefs with facts

Realize that truth is more important than moral superiority and is the only way to come over to reality. You must research beyond propaganda from the Sierra Club, Hilllary Clinton, and CNN to understand things as they really exist in the world. You can no longer argue based on "feelings" or emotion. You will actually need to back up your arguments with real information. This is a difficult step, because it means you can't be lazy any more.

Step 3: Love America

This may be the most difficult step for those of you who are hippies and peaceniks. Admitting that the country you hate actually stands as a beacon to defend freedom throughout the world can make some of you physically ill. You might want to make a visit to a military cemetery to better understand that these men and women gave their lives so that you could spew hatred. Otherwise, you would currently be living in a police state that would never let you wear that nasty patchouli oil, let alone speak out against your government.

Step 4: Take a college level economics class

A Socialist is defined as someone who's never taken an economics class. Most Socialists have a hard time balancing their checkbooks, let alone explaining the simple concept of supply-and-demand. It's time to flush your complete ignorance of basic economics down the toilet and understand how the world actually functions. This concept will be very important for the next steps that involve communism, facts about corporations, and the inefficiencies of government.

Step 5: Say "no" to Communism and Socialism

While this concept is obvious to most of the free world, it is an important step in your recovery process. If you have difficulty with this step, spend a week living and working in Cuba.

Step 6: Corporations are not evil

If you're reading this article on-line or in an email, it's thanks to corporations. If you get some kind of paycheck, you can thank corporations. If you work for a nonprofit or the government, you still have to thank corporations. The nonprofit sector and the government wouldn't have any money to pay you without corporations. It is also important that you understand that making a profit doesn't equate to "greed" or exploitation. Capitalism has created the greatest society in our world's history. Even communist countries need corporations to survive, so enjoy a nice, hot cup of reality.

Step 7: The government is inefficient

If you are one of those liberals who believe the government should tax us more in order to take care of society, you need to pay special attention to this step. You need to realize that government bureaucracy will waste most of your tax dollars, while the private sector will put your money to much better use. Even most Democrat politicians understand this to some degree, which is why Hillary's socialist healthcare proposal was voted down by a majority of both Democrats and Republicans. Go to your local post office or call the IRS to ask a tax question if you need a reminder about government inefficiency.

Step 8: The earth is not your "mother", and she's not dying

The time has now come to stop your donations to Greenpeace, The Sierra Club, and every other EnviroNazi organization to which you belong. Face the reality that the earth, society and our environment are better off today than ever in recorded history and that they are continuing to improve. I realize that many of you tree huggers will have a very difficult time letting go of the Douglas Fir on this one. I would suggest reading The Skeptical Environmentalist by Bjorn Lomborg. Mr. Lomborg is a former member of Greenpeace and is currently a statistics professor at a university in Denmark. He set out to prove the world was in bad shape and ended up surprising himself by proving the exact opposite.

Step 9: Stop smoking the wacky tobacco

Okay, some of you might need to enter another 12-step program to complete this step. Marijuana is distorting your sense of reality, and you need to stop using it. Besides, you'll save a fortune on snacks.

Step 10: Eat a hamburger

If God didn't intend for us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them out of meat. You can put your sprouts and tofu on the hamburger, but get some meat into you. You'll look and feel better than you ever imagined. You can always remind yourself that Nazi propaganda hailed Adolf Hitler as a vegetarian to get you through this step.

Step 11: Stop re-writing political history

It's now time to admit that Bill Clinton is a lying-cheating-sexist-racist-rapist jackass, Hillary Clinton is one of the worst role models for women in this country, Al Gore really did lose the 2000 election by every vote tabulation you attempt, Ronald Reagan ended the Cold War and didn't create the homeless problem, John McCain is not a typical Republican, and Jimmy Carter is a nice man but has one of the worst presidential records of anyone in history.

Step 12: Be a missionary

Once you have completed the previous steps to overcoming liberalism, it's time for you to share this awakening with others who are not as fortunate. Go out amongst the liberal sheep and spread the good word of your freedom from the chains of ignorance that once bound you. Congratulations, and welcome to reality.

[Richard Tanner]

So I'm assuming you're preaching conversion to the Conservative side with this. Now don't get me wrong, I'm a Libertarian (Socially liberal, economically extremly conservative) so I think this was hilarious. However, if the conservative road is the one you are encouraging people to go down, someone needs to make a 12 step cure for that.

It could have steps like "Realizing the fetus isn't scientifically alive until after five months" and "Admitting there probably isn't a god, and even if there is he doesn't care who wins the game"

Just some ideas to get you started.

Cody

[slickpoppa]

[ QUOTE ]
Face the reality that the earth, society and our environment are better off today than ever in recorded history and that they are continuing to improve.

[/ QUOTE ]
If the earth is better off today, then please explain why the current species extinction rate is over 100 times higher today than the rate seen in the fossil record. (And no, the bible is not an accurate fossil record)

[andyfox]

It's a new year. Do we really need the sameoldsht?

[bholdr]

1: Your problem,here, is you have listened to too much Rush Limbaugh, who has (successfully) turned the very word "liberal" into a derogotory comment. you use it in the same context here, unless i am mis-reading you. because you see "liberal" as an insult, you may as well have said "admit you're a commie red fairyboy" it's like a liberal telling a conservative "admit you're a troglodyte"

2:I always do. it's clever how you insinuate that liberals are unable/unwilling to do so, and that, conversely, conservatives are. i don't see one fact to back up your claim, though.

3:Just because your definition of what it means to love one's country is narrowed to include only those that agree with you doesn't mean that liberals are not patriots. your rhetoric "you might want to take a visit to a military cemetary..." is an insulting and illogical thing to say. both of my grandfathers fought in WWII, both are/were liberals. one a captian in the navy, the other a corpral in the 442nd(do you know what that means?). when you say things like that, you insult them as well as their liberal families, and modern liberal soldiers, and then, i'm sure, you will claim to be 'supporting the troops', the very pinnicle of hipocracy.

4: I personally have taken two. Again you are making wild claims with no factual support: "most socialists have a hard time balancing their checkbooks" and you insinuate that liberals genrally have a weaker understanding of economics than conservatives. facts, please.

5: this fact is NOT obvious to "most of the free world" Most of europe's governments are closer to socialism than capitalism, for example. I do agree that comunisim is on its way out, however.

6: "Corporations are not Evil" Nor are they good. some may be... but some are surely evil too (actually evil is too strong a word) Enron comes to mind... there are many other examples for each. corporations are motivated by PROFIT, not good or evil, or progress and innovation, or to employ people or to destroy the environment or clean it up. again you insinuate that liberals hate corporations and/or capitalism, or at least beleive that all of them are evil. where are you getting this stuff?

7: Aggreed. government is inneficient and needs a lot of work. However, it is now the republicans that are spending our decendants into debt, not the liberals. until the 'borrow and spend' conservatives prove that they are any different in terms of fiscal responsibility, they have no right to continue to criticize all the 'tax and spend liberals' out there.

8: "the earth, society and our environment are better off today than ever in recorded history": yet another bizzare supposition unsupported by facts. ever? that's a long time. even though i do not think that the world will end because of man's influence (there will be no 'day after tommorow' scenarios) we have definitly contributed to the genral decline in our planet's health and evvironmental stability, and that damage deserves attention. one is free to pick and choose their sources, i suppose, but i personally pay attention to a wide variety of sources on the environment, and the vast majority of evidence and informed opinion is contrary to Mr. Lomborg's position.

9: "Stop smoking the wacky tobacco"...
Stop beating your wife. Stop attending Klan meetings. (<--sarcasam) Dumb Stereotypes like "liberals are potheads" just make you look bigoted. maybe you were trying to be funny?

10: I thought you were a conservative? Now you're trying to tell people what to eat?! What the hell business is of yours? Comparing people that eat tofu instead of steak to Hitler? Nobody (save for a few wackos, the liberal equlivilent of tim McVeigh) wants to force you to give up your steaks and hamburgers. It sounds to me like you just don't like vegetarians... is that it? wooohooo.
btw, i am eating a big fat ultimate cheeseburger right now.

11: tomato-tomaato you are talking about mostly matters of opinion here, not political history.

12: please explain the bearing your imperitive has on this discussion.


[ QUOTE ]
You can no longer argue based on "feelings" or emotion.

[/ QUOTE ]
this is all you have appearently done in this entire post, except for the mention of Bjorn Lomborg. your comments reveal you as a hipocryte, railing against an opposing ideology while being nothing more than a propagandist yourself. Your motivation for this whole post, if you even wrote it yourself, seems to be that you just don't like liberals, and felt like insulting some people online. for shame. Your third point "love america" was particulary embarrassing to even read.

[zaxx19]

Realizing the fetus isn't scientifically alive until after five months

This seems laughably arbitrary..note im no pro lifer but...

[tytygoodnuts]

bholdr, you are my hero.
Just like a lot of other conservative propoganda, a little logical analysis shows it for what it is: bullshit.

[Cyrus]

Gonna be a long year.

[bholdr]

Say it loud, brother [img]/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

[Randy_Refeld]

[ QUOTE ]
because you see "liberal" as an insult, you may as well have said "admit you're a commie red fairyboy"

[/ QUOTE ]

Isn't that the definition of a liberal in modern usage?