[Al_Capone_Junior]

OK.

I realize that often times casinos are going to be loud places. Many people, slot machines, craziness, it can get pretty loud. But holy cow batman, give me a friggin' break already, it's often times RIDICULOUS, and completely avoidable.

The primary example of this is the music played in casinos. Most casinos have some sort of music playing on the overhead loudspeaks all the time. And that music is usually ABSOLUTE CRAP that's being played on VH1 and your top ten radio stations slightly more often than once per hour. CRAP. It's the kind of music that would make most ordinary people just want to stab themselves in the groin with an ICEPICK to RELIEVE THE PAIN IN THEIR EARS. Add in the tinny crappy soundsystems and high ceilings and you're already half way to hell via your poor eardrums.

But that's only the BEGINNING.

SH*TTY music ain't enough. Then they got the lounge band. Or the casino band. Or the bar band. Sometimes the band is pretty good, sometimes they suck MAJOR ASS. But it rarely matters, because whether they are good or they suck, you're only going to be sonically attacked worse once they start playing. BECAUSE THEY LEAVE THE CRAPPY ASS OVERHEAD MUSIC ON FULL BLAST THE WHOLE TIME, GIVING YOU A LOVELY STEREO CRAP EFFECT.

Aladdin was great for this one, the lounge band would play upstairs in sinbad's lounge, meanwhile the casino and poker room still had the horrid top fourty garbage screaming at full blast. Stereo from hell, and neither ear even sounded good in the first place.

Another casino in town will blast your ears with the most horrid "pop" of all times from the crappy overhead, echoey sound system of all times, then they'll blast VH1 from a nearby bar AT FULL BLAST. Anyone within about sixty feet of the bar at that time will undoubtedly be driven away within a very short time, else they'll go home with a MAJOR headache. And let's not forget, JUST IN CASE you were somehow managing to have a good time, despite the horrid noise levels, then the casino band will start, AND THEY'LL LEAVE EVERYTHING ELSE TURNED UP FULL BLAST ANYWAY. It's a three way assault on both your ears and your psyche. I absoultely guarantee that this particular casino loses many thousands of dollars each week because it's just TOO DAMN LOUD IN THERE TO HAVE ANY KIND OF GOOD TIME. The customers WILL LEAVE, it's a FACT. Coincidentally, the place is usually totally deserted at night, despite its prime location.

THREE sources of music, each one not only loud as hell, but god awful atrocious crap that NO ONE listens to, will be present in several vegas casinos on any given night. This doesn't count the noise from the crowds, machines, chips, or the magnification effect from the vaulted, rounded ceilings. They might even throw in a basketball game from yet another bar for "good effect."

TWO sources of horrid noise is almost the standard here in town, few casinos have less.

As for the preferred SINGLE source of PLEASANT sounds? Virtually non-existant. Hats off to the Wynn for their sounds from overhead. At least in the area of the casino that I tend to hang around in, the poker room, they have one source of at least somewhat pallatable music, and it's not TOO FRIGGIN' LOUD. Ironically, boulder station, with the average age of their patrons being about EIGHTY-SEVEN, plays classic rock overhead.

I know there is someone, some executive in a suit, getting a more than adequate salary, who has direct control over the volume levels of the various bars, bands, and overhead barely musical crap dispensers in every casino. SOMEONE HAS CONTROL OF THE VOLUME KNOBS. However, there's another fact, and it's IRREFUTABLE, and it's obvious as all hell...

THE PERSON WITH CONTROL OF THE VOLUME KNOBS ISN'T IN THE CASINO.

Nope. It's some jerkoff in a suit, choosing crappy music from some jerkoff company that claims they "have done research" and "this is what america wants" (probably a subsidiary of both VH1 and exxon). Please do direct me to these particular individuals, because I HAVEN'T KICKED ANYONE IN THE NUTS LATELY.

Somewhere, in each of these godawfully noisy casinos, is an executive, who could change things, but is long gone by swing shift, and wants to justify the fact that they paid a "company" to choose "the most socially acceptable music." Let's not forget now that this same executive, in their nice white shirt with their fancy friggin' tie, is also GUILTY of the following...

1. they are TOTALLY TONE DEAF

2. having ABSOLUTELY NO TASTE and are easily swayed by the fact that some crappy new band (that should probably be run over by a dodge pickup truck for the betterment of society, what a coincidence, that's what I drive [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]) is on VH1. (Did I mention that VH1 sucks major ASS?)

3. they have ABSOLUTELY NO CONCEPT OF THE PRINICIPLES OF THE PHYSICS OF SOUND, SOUND SYSTEMS, OR EQUIPMENT FOR PRODUCING SOUND

I tell ya, if I could meet every one of these morons in control of the music and bar TVs and bands an 'nem I would have a VERY sore foot by the end of the day.

It just disgusts me really tho, vegas is loud enough without the sound, just try opening your eyes. But even the mega-resorts, with all their glitz and glamour, haven't figured out that there are more senses than just your eyes, and that what you hear is almost as important as what you see. Few tourists will ever tell you that they left because it was just too damn noisy and unpleasant to be in the place, but many will LEAVE after they start getting a headache.

The SOLUTION? Well DUH. ONE source of music. When the band starts playing in the casino, TURN DOWN THE OVERHEAD. Don't put starbucks (with their own crappy ass version of music) smak dab next to the poker room, and have starbucks and the casino BOTH blasting you with different music all day and night. Don't let bar play VH1 at full blast, while leaving the tinny, echoing top ten crap playing really loud from the cheep-ass all-weather speakers (left over from desert storm) that are mounted in the ceiling. The sports book should NOT have the spurs vs. the heat at FULL BLAST while the casino lounge band is RIGHT NEXT DOOR and the overhead top ten CRAPPIEST songs of all time are still jamming your head full of **** on the overhead! There should ONLY EVER be ONE source of musical sound assaulting the ears of your guests, and it SHOULDN'T be an assault! Try analyzing the sound properties of a room before you build (any halfway decent soundman or college physics student could do this for a more than reasonable price). Casinos should simply put the people in charge of the entertainment OUT IN THE CASINO SO THEY CAN SEE IF IT'S ACTUALLY ENTERTAINING OR NOT. Casinos should also TRY HIRING COMPETENT PEOPLE TO RUN THE DAY TO DAY OPERATIONS. Cuz if you're driving customers AWAY because it's TOO DAMN LOUD AND UNPLEASANT IN YOUR CASINO, then you deserve to be FIRED.

Sheesh, all this seems DREADFULLY OBVIOUS to me, so who do I need to kick in the nuts to make my point known here?

al