[SuitedSixes]

I moved into a new house towards the end of September. I began to notice droppings and other signs of rodent inhabitation in the garage. The hole that the mouse (or mice) lived in was directly opposite my daughter's bedroom. Enter the moral dilemma.

In my daughter's room, she has a hamster (Mousey). I was having problems justifying killing one member of the rodent family while feeding another. So I decided to get a humane trap. It was a simple plastic box that was see-through that had a door that was light enough for a mouse to push in, but couldn't be pushed backwards.

I baited in with a ball of peanut butter covered in birdseed that we have for "Mousey." Within 5 minutes of setting the trap in the garage I had captured a mouse. I took it to the construction site next door and emptied the trap into a trash dumpster.

I got a mouse the next day too, and the next, and the next, and the next.

I began to suspect that I was dealing with a fellow willing to exchange a few minutes in a plastic box and a trip to the dumpster in exchange for a ball of peanut butter covered in bird seed.

Moral dilemma ignored, it was time to kill.

I bought a 4-pack of those old-school spring-loaded traps at Wal-Mart for $2.19, returned home, baited two with peanut butter, and waited. The next morning I went into the garage to find that the peanut butter had been picked clean off the traps, but neither had sprung. I re-baited (not the 'bate that I am best at) and found the same result the following morning and the next. By Wednesday, I was thoroughly pissed and decided to not feed the mouse that night.

Thursday afternoon, I went into the garage to find that both traps had sprung and I had two very dead mice. Evidentally, I had programmed their tiny rodent brains to eat a peanut butter treat every night, and when their snack was unavailable they thoroughly searched the trap and got whacked. Victory was mine!

I put them in the rollout garbage can in my garage and wheeled it out to the curb for the Thursday pickup (the construction dumper is gone). Problem was that I had been too late, and so I had rotting mouse carcass in my garage. By Monday the smell was hideous, so I wheeled the can out of the garage and placed it by the side of the house.

The following Morning I had a notice on my door from the home owner's association informing me that leaving my garbage out of the garage was a violation of the neighborhood code (never mind the fact that the can was parked right next to the Port-O-John for the construction site next door).

I wheeled the dumpster around to the front yard where it rested until Wednesday evening when I moved it to the curb (I wasn't taking any chances).

In conclusion, I hate mices.