[Blarg]

Favorite bits ever:

1. Triumph's first appearance at the first dog show. As funny as anything I've ever seen. I pity the fool who had to come on after that, who even said basically, how the hell am I going to top that?

2. Triumph interviewing Don Rickles. Chopped a bit on Triumph's DVD unfortunately, but still great there.

3. The masturbating bear. God I miss him! And Pimpbot 2000 is sorely missed too.

4. Conan talking to some guest about attracting women and sayhing something like, what are you going to do, distract her with your keys? And he pulls out his car keys and waves them around, going, Oooh, shiney! The audience fell out of their chairs laughing. Really quick and clever.

5. Annrouncer Joel did one or two sketches that were absolutely brilliant where he put on that moronically happy grin while reciting the miserable degenerate horror of his abject, utterly degrading and loveless existence. The writing was insanely good and bitterly hilarious, and Joel was really great.

6. Conan's audition, talking to Mimi Rogers, who was saying modeling was hard. He shook his head then couldn't take it anymore and said, No, that's not hard. Turning a big crank(making like one of the workers in Modern Times turning a wheel with his whole body) -- THAT's hard! Modeling's not hard. Mimi Rogers dignity could have been offended, but she was way too busy laughing. This was really ballsy and the way he pulled it off was very spontaneous and funny, and it won him the job. Great hitter in the clutch!

7. There was one Conan interview years ago where he started out right away asking about the starlet's extremely goofy,very showy hair, just a gentle tease, but she first stiffened up and got offended, then gave him a dirty look and wouldn't say anything. He tried to make amends, but they cut to commercial really quickly and when they came back she was gone. Hooray!

8. Conan's first interview with Ice T, where T was trying so damn hard to be all tough but finally just gave up and started grinning and said, this guy pretends to be totally out of it, but he knows what time it is. Those were probably some of the greatest words of praise Ice T ever gave anyone up to that point in his life.

9. The gay vacation home movie bit he did with someone, I forget who, that he later redid for the Emmys and which has been copied a million times since. Stolen from Chris Elliot's Get a Life show, where Chris and Martin Mull did it, but what the hell, it was still fresh then and it was hilarious.

10. The apple picking trip home movie he did with Mr. T.

Favorite repeated bits:

Almost anything Triumph.

Conan and Max doing the bit where they talk about how thrilled they are over who's dating who on soap operas or such, chirpy and phoney as a Today Show host or a couple of demented suburban housewives, and then stare at each with classic deadened faces that look like they've just been been forced to sit through the destruction of their own souls.

Conan interviewing Schwarzenegger on his pop-up t.v.

Conan, Max, and his announcer Joel doing the bits they usually do around Christmas or New Years where they show pictures of their horribly lonely, degrading holidays, usually winding up saying something like And it was the best Christmas Ever! despite it being one that would make anyone want to gouge their eyes out.