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Old 10-19-2005, 09:32 AM
Blarg Blarg is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 1,519
Default Re: giving your gf money...

She doesn't pay for food or rent, works, has you buy her stuff, and still needs money? Unless she's planning on breaking her ankle frequently, that doesn't sound like it will be an ongoing thing. If you want to help her out here and there, that's one thing, but if you make a habit or schedule of it, it has a chance of negatively impacting your relationship, making her feel or actually become to some extent dependent on you, and dependency almost always leads to buried resentment.

If your relationship is good, it doesn't need the extra money in it. But the extra money, unless it's a really sporadic thing, could wind up harming the relationship. It may feel good to give it out in the short run, but lead to bad feelings in the long run.

It really sucks to even begin to think about anything like this negatively, and I'm sure there will be flames for my saying all that, because nobody would like to think about the negative sides of how money can unbalance a relationship, and it might hit a nerve. But money is actually one of the major reasons relationships come apart, as well as come together in the wrong way. It can be better to keep it from ever being a factor at all. I imagine she did fine before you and can do fine without you, so there's no sense putting your elbow on the scale by adding money to the mix, even if it's with the best of intentions, unless it's done very sporadically.
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