[TStoneMBD]

Chuck Norris' roundhouse kicks are so powerful that when he does them, it creates a gravitational pull that shifts the land masses of the earth closer to him each time.

NASA has been interested in sending Chuck Norris into outerspace for years, but after extensive studies they determined that it would be too dangerous to do so as Chuck Norris' punches are so powerful that he might accidentally punch through the universe's atmosphere creating a worm hole into another dimension.

When Chuck Norris strokes his penis, every woman on the planet's sense of sexual awareness increases.

Scientists have discovered a way to duplicate the destruction of the atomic bomb by having Chuck Norris ejaculate out of an airplane over cities.

The government has been trying to pass a bill for years that will approve the cloning of Chuck Norris' DNA, but scientists fear the added earthquake damage might cause the apocalypse.

Chuck Norris cures the overpopulation of the earth with roundhouse kicks.

-all mine