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Old 12-29-2005, 08:08 PM
Blarg Blarg is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 1,519
Default Re: I suck at closing

Sounds like some part of you is afraid they'll say no. That you aren't learning anything from your standard first blush of success when starting the whole thing off talking to them, and carrying it over to the mid-game or endgame. If even succeeding makes you feel like you might be a failure, you've got problems.

Sometimes they say no. So what. It really doesn't hurt to ask. At least not unless you grind it into your soul. Find a way to put less emotion into just asking. It's too early to get all hyped up on the consequences of what's going down when you haven't even gotten her anywhere near the sack yet.

Are you afraid you're not nice enough of a guy, or worthwhile enough in some way, to ask without it coming off like a million to one shot? No matter how pretty they are, they've probably hung around with worse than you, and may just do so that very night. Try to be a lower pressure guy both to yourself and them, just someone who can let things succeed and be fun. Not a guy all full of consequences.

If they're hanging with you at all, they're already at least somewhat on your side and would like for you to succeed. How far, is up to the girl, but even that can change a lot depending on your charm. But basically It's just up to you not to blow it, and only the meanest, stupidest ones want to watch you self-destruct. Give them a fair chance to say yes. Enjoy yourself enough to be cool to be around, so just hanging around you in general seems like a fun idea. Then your asking her to go somewhere besides the bar, to your place, whatever, won't be such a heavy thing for either of you. Learn to be the guy who's relaxed and happy enough that if a girl says no it doesn't blow his ego or slow him down, and you'll get a lot more girls saying yes.

And you won't get in a funk about the ones who don't.
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