[einbert]

Shant,

I understand that you are very frustrated about your position in the poker ecosystem right now. Poker is an incredibly frustrating pastime. As lucrative as it has been for me, it has caused more stress in my life than any other single event.

But I think there is a golden lining to it all. Yes, poker can be a harsh bitch. However, as cliche as it might be, worthwhile things simply don't come easy. Getting from $.50/$1.00 to 3/6, for me, for whatever reason (most likely I ran hot as [censored]), wasn't hard. I just kept playing and kept winning, and I kept moving up as my bankroll grew. It was nice to have the extra money, but it didn't add any satisfaction or self-esteem to my life. In my mind, I was simply exploiting the fact that other people were ignorant about poker and making money off of it. I didn't have to do any hard work to figure out concepts for myself--all the information I needed to maintain a steady win was found in these forums and SSHE.

As I kept winning, I got greedier and greedier for a higher hourly rate. So I moved on up to 5/10 6max. At first I ran very hot in that game, but eventually I started to lose--hard and fast. I remember my first 200 BB downswing and how utterly frustrating that was. At that point I knew that this game is going to be harder to beat than the microlimits. Part of me wanted to move back down to 3/6 where I could simply grind out a steady earn, but for whatever reason I decided to stick it out. Through a ton of hard work, dedication, and a complete reassessing of my priorities and thoughts in relation to each hand of poker, I have been able to push through 5/10 and move up into 10/20.

I have taken several shots at 15/30, one time dropping more than 150 BBs. I have come to the perhaps right, perhaps wrong conclusion that 15/30 is, again, "a totally different ballgame." And somedays I just feel like I am doomed to stay at 10/20 forever. Somedays I just want to move back down to 5/10 so I don't have to think so damn hard.

Maybe it is because I have something to prove to the world. Maybe it is because I'm greedy and want to be able to buy more toys. Maybe it is because I have a tremendous fear of working a 9-5 job where iI have to take orders from someone who is very likely lescompetent than me. But I have become very stubborn about my goals, and the main one is to think, learn, and improve as much as possible every single day.

Moving beyond 10/20 is not going to be easy for you or just about anyone else. Maybe in my run at 15/30 last summer I had run incredibly hot and won 150BBs instead of losing that much. But sooner or later I would have to improve my game beyond what it takes to beat 10/20, or I would just end up donating it all back. And while at times the climb can be incredibly tiring, frustrating, and at times I simply want to give up and go back to 3/6 and mindlessly grind out 8 tables of money, I choose to press on.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, don't give up. And, poker is difficult. It took me a damn long time to accept that truth. But it's basically the principle truth here. The great thing about this truth, though, is that once we realize and accept this truth (both intellectually and emotionally), we transcend it. As soon as I accepted that each rung up the limit ladder wasn't going to be as easy to navigate as the transition from 2/4 to 3/6, it became much more easy to accept hard work, downswings, and patience. And I feel like the steps I've had to take to get from 3/6 to where I am today have really transformed my personality--some people might call it "character building". So why not allow my character to be built some more, especally if it means more money in my pocket, right?


Anyway I hope this doesn't come off as a bragging post. I think it might. But it was intended to be a post of encouragement, maybe even of inspiration [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]. I've never had a close relationship with brevity, but if I did perhaps my post would look more like this:
Hey, I'm fighting the same fight you are. And yeah, it's not easy. It's hard as [censored]. But I'm not gonna give up because damn it, I'm good enough, smart enough, and greedy enough to do the work required to get there. And so are you!


So remember while you are going through the toils and minefields of the daily struggle, you're not alone. It's not easy for you, but it's not easy for anyone else either. It's hard as [censored], but you will always have friends here who are going through the same [censored], who you can lean on during the droughts and celebrate with when the harvest is plentiful.

Good luck.