First of all I would hire Jessica Alba. She would accompany me everywhere. Her job would be to interact with people on my behalf. I would whisper what I wanted to say into her ear, and she would then tell the person. When they responded she would relay the message by whispering it in my ear as sexily as possible, and hopefully putting one of her hands anywhere on my body. I hope that this service costs less than 99% of the money, however if it takes every last penny well that's life.