"why would i bet more preflop if i didnt even have a face card, let alone a pocket pair."

Because you'd be happy if your opponent folded, allowing you to profit while holding a weak hand. 89o is only profitable as a drawing hand if there are a lot of people to see the flop with you to potentially pay you off on the few times that you actually make a strong hand.

You failed to steal because you bet too small (try ~4bb next time), and you aren't getting the right situation to draw to your striaght (except as a backup incase he calls your steal attempt). You were very lucky to get top pair no kicker, so your pot size flop bet was correct. But, you opponent's call of your flop tells you that: s/he has a hand, s/he has overcards, s/he is dumb, so you need to figure out. You probably should have bet twice the pot with such a vulnerable top pair hand to have the best chacne to end this hand right now with a profit. The turn J should be a scary card because it hits a lot of hand opponent could have called you with Pre flop but not reraise.

"should the board show 4 to a flush, i win then as well,"

No. Realize that if you do get your flush with four of one suit on the board, you will scare your opponent unless s/he also has a flush, which might beat you.

"he is a moron for playing them and got really lucky"

No. Your opponent looks skilled. pocket 2s will win the hand if you do not improve, or did not have a higher PP to start with.but, opponent can figure out where s/he stands by investing a bet on the flop and judging your reaction. But, s/he did not need to. What you need to realize with PPs is that they don't make a set very often, but when they do, they have a high chance of winning and sneak up on people who have good second place hands. When that happens, the holder of the set makes a lot of chips.

Your opponent played this hand perfectly: let you keep putting money in the pot without discouragement until the last moment when s/he makes a bet you cannot refuse. Learn from your opponent, and tournament fora and read everyone's discussion.