[kyzerjose]

Clark,

I admire your willingness to at least try and help your friend.

I guess the real trick in trying to get someone to correct behavior is to keep any sort of "confrontation" non-confrontational.

Talk about observed behaviors without attaching your personal values to them. Express your concerns in a way that doesn't automatically force your friend into a defensive mode. It's really hard.

Be specific. Ask your friend how he feels certain actions he's taken have worked out. Don't tell him he's made "horrible" decisions.

Come prepared to offer him choices. Not an either "my way or you die" thing. Ultimately, he needs to make the hard choice.

Offer your support if he decides to make changes. Unconditional friendship.

However......be prepared to be bitterly disappointed. Don't get trapped in some sort of fantasy where you and another friend "save" this guy and he's forever in your debt.

It's just as likely he'll tell you to go F*** yourself. If that ends up happening then it becomes a matter of accepting the circumstances.

Continue to be his friend.