[Wolf101]

Some years back I found myself in Florida with friends. We got completely hammered and ended up taking the flight to Freeport to gamble. The deal was, you have to keep $15 bucks airport tax or whatever to get back out of the country.

So it was like a twenty minute flight, but in that time, I realize my ex-wife is one of the flight attendents. She starts harrassing me about her new boyfriend, who was actually the freakin pilot. So now I'm hammered and pissed off and humiliated when I get to the casino.

I blow my roll in less than thirty minutes playing craps. Now everyone knows how it sucks to be in a casino with no money while all your friends are having fun, so I say screw it, I'll bet my last $15, it's not like my friends are going to leave me behind.

I started playing blackjack and I couldn't lose. I was so hammered I wasn't even playing basic strategy...just doing whatever...all kinds of goofey hits. Next thing I know, I'm up a couple of thousand bucks! All my friends are hovering around the table hooting and hollering. I was demanding shots of tequila and getting them.

While this whole scene is going on, I manage to get some chick to sit on my lap "for luck" and I'm giving her some chips to play with and she starts hammering shots as well.

We had to be back at the plane at 3:00AM, having arrived around 6:00PM and it turns out the drunk chick is on the plane as well. The plane is basically empty and completely dark and I start groping her and before I know what's going on my ex-wife realizes I'm getting head under a blanket right there for her to see. It was priceless.

I ended up winning about two grand, had a little action and when I finally got home and went to bed I heard my roomate screaming. I ran in there to find that the cat had taken a huge dump on his pillow while we were gone. For some reason, that remains the best memory of the night for me.

What a great night. It's been -EV ever since.