[flapjack]

Last weekend I stayed at the MGM. On Friday night I went to KA with a friend of mine and his wife. After that we went to the blackjack tables and proceeded to get drunk. My buddy called it a night around 2:30 or 3:00. I went to the poker room to play some nice drunk low limit. I get seated in a typical 4/8 game with a half kill. I can barely walk straight but I figure I can still play with these people. I decide I will gamble it up early on to create a “wild gambling” image.

The floor man brings me a rack of blue and I tell say, “I loose way more than that, bring me three more racks.” The table takes notice as I stack my chips up.

I fold my first hand, I am drunk but I have some standards, only to see about 6 people limp after me. As the dealer is pulling in the chips I say, “Wow this looks like a big pot, I call.” I put four chips over the line. The dealer chuckles and pushes them back to me. I say, “No really, I call. I’ll play the board.” The dealer takes my chips and I hear “wow, never seen that before.” I didn’t win the pot, or even a share of it, but now everyone knows I am drunk and looking to gamble.

I spend the next couple of hours talking non stop. I wish I could remember the stuff I was saying because I had the whole table laughing. One time I raised and I got called by the next two players on my left. Both happened to be cops, one from DC and one from somewhere that I forgot. As the second one calls I say, “Oh no, here comes the Po Po.” They both fold when I bet the turn and I say, “Parole granted.” It was funny at the time. I also remember making fun of a guy who said, “Yikes-a-hootie” when he got raised. I got paper and pens from the floor and we had a contest to see how to spell Yikes-a-hootie. I spelled it yikesahooty. I was secretly glad I couldn’t spell it.

Another time I raised AK and got about 12 callers. I bet the flop for some reason that I can’t remember now, there was no Ace or King. On the turn I pick up a gut shot broadway. I say, “Dealer I need some serious help. You get half the pot if you bring me a winner.” River King. Checked around and my hand is good. I wish I had a picture of the other player’s faces when I pushed the dealer half the pot.

All this is leading up to one hand. I almost left but a girl at the table convinced me to stay. At this point I am down $120 or so. I remember thinking I’ve had so much fun I just wish I was up. The hand is dealt. Girl who talked me into staying opens with a raise. Guy two to my right makes it three bets. Before looking at my cards I make sniffing sounds and say,”Do you all smell that? (short pause) Smells like a big pot.” I check my cards, QJ of spades; a perfect suck out hand! I call, several other people call.

At this point I should mention that this was a kill pot. Flop comes QJ9, two clubs. Not a bad flop for my hand. When it gets to me I make it three bets and it comes back to me capped. It was capped by the girl who raised in first position. I figure I am behind and hope I am not drawing dead. Turn comes, board is now QJ9J. Sweet. I like my chances more now when she does not cap the turn. Turn gets capped four ways. This time it was the button who capped the turn.

I puss out on the river and just over call the buttons bet. He bet and two other people called before me. The hands were me: QJ, button: J9 (and I thought my preflop call was bad), Girl UTG: 99, Guy who hates money and paid off all the way: KK.

As the dealer is pushing me this gigantic pot, you could have heard a pin drop. Everyone is just staring mouth wide open at all that money going to me. I tip the dealer, then I tip everyone at the table either one or five dollars. I can’t remember how much it was. It takes me about the next four hands to stack all these chips. I color up and get a stack of green to go with my blues and assorted reds.

I had so much fun and finished up for the night. It’s sad that drunken 4/8 was my biggest win of the trip. I am going to have to try it more often.