Every time I read an article about an NFL player, or former player, getting arrested I remember that cornerback, I think it was Ty Law, if I'm not mistaken, who tried to outrun a fat cop with 50 lbs. of gear and couldn't. When the cop tackled him (how funny is that) he yelled, "don't touch me" or something to that effect.
Edit Here's the story. Just visualize it. It'll make you laugh for days.