[SuitedSixes]

If I fail as a professional poker player, which in all honesty seems inevitable, it will be due to my own shortcomings in areas of my personality and character.

The cards are the easy part. I have 100% winning confidence in NL ring games and 88% winning confidence at the $55s. My sense of worth has always been tied to my immediate success and failure (which is why I am no longer a football coach). And the swings of the bankroll manifest themselves in my emotions and it is very difficult to be a functioning member of society when you feel like world's champ one hour and a total failure the next.

The most financially secure I have ever been was when I was working and playing poker. I do not regret my decision to turn pro. It was the decision I needed to make at the time I needed to make it. If I can last one year (the end of March) I will feel a genuine sense of accomplishment. I will also need to decide at that time if I have the intangible qualities and if my personal disposition is best suited for this kind of life.

I am also at a very difficult time, personally, and the need to have friends and human contact beyond screen names and PMs is becoming more important to my overall happiness.