[yoadrians]

My wife and I were driving back from my parents' house this afternoon after a visit to my hometown. She was very quiet for the first 20 minutes of our 90-minute drive - which is rare, to say the least - so I asked her what she was thinking about.

Basically, my wife, Katie -- a red-headed doll who is the mother of my 1 child and my best friend in the entire world -- went on to say that, throughout this past weekend and last weekend, when she was visiting her parents at home in the Twin Cities while I was on vacation in Boston, several family members had expressed concern about me and a possible gambling problem.

In short, I was stunned. I had never considered myself to be a gambling addict, and, to be honest with all of you, I'm pretty sure I'm not. I mean, I don't play craps, slots and blackjack. I don't bet on sports, unless it's $5 over a Packers game with some friends. I play a little fantasy football - two $50 leagues per season. And when I play poker, I stay within my means, and I walk away from the table/shut down the CPU when I'm tired or sick of playing. I'm not someone who steams, tilts, and 'tries to win it all back' when I get beat. And I'm also not someone who, when they're ahead, continues to go up in levels that my roll can't handle. I play at my limits, I set aside time to play when I can, and that's it.

I do play a lot of poker, but I've never played off of a credit card or anything like that. I started with $50 on Stars and another $50 on Party about a year ago, and since then, I've built a roll up to about $7,000, very slowly, of course, because I really only get the chance to play an $11 or $22 SNG per day because I watch our son, Max, while mom is at work (I get two SNGs in when he's napping around 11-noon each day). And, occasionally, I play in an MTT when I get home from work at night (I work nights, Katie works days, so no daycare for our son, which is fantastic). Also, about once every two months, I play the $2-$4 at Potowatomi in Milwaukee or the 3-6 at Oneida in Green Bay. I really don't have time to play much more than that, but I'll admit I think about poker - mostly all Hold Em - quite a bit and I read these boards every day.

After not saying anything for a little while and just thinking about it, I explained to Katie - who has always been VERY supportive of my poker playing, especially because I've been able to prove to her that I'm a winning player at the levels I play at - that I don't feel like I'm a gambling addict. Mostly, I think I'm probably 'addicted' to poker like some children are to video games, or like some folks are to football, etc. I like what I like - poker, family, friend, movies, football - and I do spend a lot of time thinking about these three things. I've always been that way - I have about a handful of things going on in my life that I'm totally in to, and I tend to immerse myself in those activities/aspects of my life. For example, in high school, it was soccer and girls. Every waking moment of my day was spent thinking about soccer, or playing soccer, or reading about soccer ... or thinking about girls, or asking out girls, whatever. In college, it was newspapers and movies. I got pretty heavy into journalism (something that I've made my career - I'm a copy editor at a major newspaper in Madison, WI), and I began getting into film pretty heavily, watching and discussing film whenever I could. And now, like I said, I spend most of my free time with poker and football, more poker than football.

So, I am comfortable with where I'm at in life - with my wife and child, with my career, with poker. I know I'm a 'safe' poker player, playing within my limits, and I am not sacrificing family/career obligations, savings, credit, etc., to continue to play.

The trouble, though, is that my family has a history of addiction. My grandfather - my dad's dad - died about 4 years ago after a lifetime of alcoholism. My grandmother on the same side has been addicted to non-prescription pain medication since she was 40. My father is a recovering drug addict and alcoholic (he's been clean and sober for 27 years, thank God, but he's still a very compulsive person). My younger brother has battled athletic anorexia and bulimia ... my other younger brother has had sexual addictions. You see where this is going - while every member of my immediate family (outside of my mother) has had some sort of an addiction that, even though they've overcome, hey, they've shown compulsive tendencies and addictive personalities in their life. So ...

Because I play a lot of poker, and talk about poker a lot, and go to casinos, and play on the Internet ... I 'must' be a gambling addict. And it seems as if they're very, very worried about me.

So, how do I convince them that I'm 'OK'? I have a very strong relationship with these people and respect the fact that they've battled their problems and come out on top. But, I also want them to respect the fact that, unlike them, I don't have a gambling addiction.

What do I say to them to reassure them? How do I bring it up (remember, they haven't said anything to me, only to my wife)?

And, above all else, could they be right?

Serious stuff, I know, but I thought with this type of Web site and forum, perhaps other people have either battled a gambling addiction, or have had to reassure family members that they are 'OK' and not in any danger of ruining their lives because of poker.

I guess this wouldn't be such a big deal, but really, my family means a lot to me, and I don't want them to worry. But also, with my family history of alcoholism and overall addictive and compulsive behavior, I must admit that if they're worried, well, maybe I should be, too?

Thanks in advance for your thoughts, and take care.

-- yoadrians