[Myrtle]

Paul,

I don’t know if you’re at a ‘crisis’ point yet. That would be defined by you and your wife. However, it is obviously a very serious decision with far reaching ramifications.

I’ve read & re-read your post a couple of times to try to get a handle on what points your decision will hinge. You’ve mentioned a few:

-Long term viability of poker as your sole income.
- Viability of your current skill set in the software industry
- Social stigma
- Your ‘love of the game’.
- ‘Regular job/regular paycheck’
- Emotional swings as a poker ‘pro’
- Classmates entering ‘prime earning years of their careers
- Your 2 children
- Your age
- Which way you want to go in your life.

These are all significant and worthwhile discussion points, and if you think about it (and I’m sure you have!) there are numbers of others that factor into your decision.

Some of the responders to your post (El Diablo, Mark Heide, Greg, and Dogmeat amongst others) have brought up some valid & good points that I believe are well worth considering.

Here’s how I’d attempt to solve the issue.

Step 1.) List all of your viable options; i.e. Full time software (both working for someone else and/or starting your own business); full time poker pro; part-time doing both, etc. Discuss this with your wife to ensure that you are both aware of every option, as there may be others that are not immediately evident. To state the obvious, before you can make a good decision you must know what ALL of your options are, regardless of how acceptable or unacceptable any of them are to either you or your wife.

Step 2.) Make a T-Chart. I’d suggest that both you and your wife do this separately at first. You don’t want either of your opinions influencing the other party. The T-Chart should include the discussion points above, and any other issues that either of you consider relevant. I’d be willing to bet that you list some that she doesn’t, and vice-versa. Assign some kind of ‘weight’ scoring system (1-10 or whatever you fell comfortable with) and score each one of the issues + and – on the T Chart.

Do this separately, and then compare and discuss the two, focusing on agreed upon points first, and then dealing with the disagreements. In computer programming terms: Drill-Down time. Depending upon the volatility of the subjects and the degree of difference of opinion between the two of you, this may not be an easy exercise. However, the reality of the situation is that whatever decision is to be made, it must be made by BOTH of you and supported fully by both of you if it is to have a chance of succeeding.

Once you get to that point, I would then discuss ‘fall-back options and strategies’ that you would collectively put in place should the original plan not go as expected.

To again state the obvious, this is a complicated and emotionally charged issue, and it’s very easy to get side-tracked by many of the important discussion points.

I wish you luck, and remember....Men are from Mars.....Women are from Venus.