I don't play anywhere near 5/10 yet but I think you are being realistic.

You raised preflop so an autobet was expected after they all checked to you. It is possible Hero is ahead but very vulnerable so I think the flop bet is a good semi-bluff / free card play. Turn misses (even though not really scary) but based on your reads I think check/fold UI is more than reasonable.

edit: p.s. - I LMFAO at the title of your post, nh!