You know all those enron and worldcom types who bought stupid stuff with the billions they stole? cars, houses, gold umbrella holders? You know what I would do if I had that much money? I would hire a beautiful girl, give her full benefits, a great salary, and she would.....wash my balls all day. walk around, srcub scrub, play tennis, scrub wash, etc. And I would meet with my ex worldcom and enron ceos and they would say "what the hell is that?" And I would say "its my personal ball washer. What did you buy, a new house!??? HAHAHAHAH!!"

(obviously a bad paraphrasing of Lewis Black, but its still funny)