[Blarg]

I want to see him as a boxing commentator. He could be like a more respectful, less drunk Larry Merchant. They both speak at about the same speed, and like Larry, he could write out a bunch of silly metaphors on napkins to read during a fight, and then screw them up while everyone tries to just move along without comment or lets out a snicker.

Rocky Balboa trying to route complicated high-falutin' eloquence through Philadelphia street speak and pugilistic brain damage would be worth hearing on any fight. He could go on riveting old man non-sequiturs about how prunes are helping his bowel movements and such, and sometimes mistakenly think he had been in the match and won the fight, and grab the belt and hold it up in the air triumphantly.

I'd watch a fight with Rocky Balboa as borderline senile commentator any day.