[addickt]

My grandfather shot himself with me in the house on my 8th birthday...

My Girlfriend in the 9th grade was murdered by her father who then comitted suicide because he was going to prison for money laundering and lost his mind

5 Years later, me and 2 friends were playing with guns( real bright I know) and my friend had his head almost comletely blown off by a 12 gauge that shot him in the neck and lower face...

I had to run next door and tell his dad, and watch him die as his father tried to save his life.

My best friend died in a Motor Cycle Accident when I was 21

and My New best friend Od'd on Cocaine 1 day after I took him to rehab and he left. ( last year)

Im not sure that any of those events shaped my beliefs, because as long as I can remember back I never believed.

But for only being 31, ive seen a lot of messed up stuff in my life and maybe subconsciously it has affected me a lot more than I actually realize.

I guess its more or less impossible to know how your subconscious is affecting your thought processes..

I think that contrary to what some may think, losing someone at an early age may well guide them to believe more in god as they search for answers and use it as a coping mechanism.

Not sure, but I can tell you 1 thing for sure... if someone could flip a switch or brainwash me into believing in God, I would gladly sign up for that.