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Alright, I'm a 21 year old virgin and I'm nervous as hell about this stuff. If you bust in like 20 seconds doesn't the female look at you like a moron?

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yes

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I'm screwed for life. I passed up my chance in high school of doing this and now feel like I'm behind on the times. What should be a respectable time and should I let the girl know? (It will probably be obvious).

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just practice on a hooker Michael Davis stylez

They wont bitch, they got your 50 dollars for 1/10th a nights work!