View Single Post
  #4  
Old 11-10-2005, 02:43 AM
TheIrishThug TheIrishThug is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: playing nl omaha h/l stud
Posts: 204
Default Re: Critique My Writing (not long)

it paints a very vivid picture. but thats all it does. idk if u were going for a story or just a reflection. if it's just a reflection than fine, but if it was meant to be more u need some action. nothing is dif from when we started to when we finished.

if expanded upon it would be a good piece of a story.
Reply With Quote