[Fitz]

I recognize your symptons very well; I've seen them up close for quite some time in the love of my life. She is brilliant, educated and can literally do anything she puts her mind to. She has also tried to kill herself more times than I can count. When the depression sets in on her, it is a terrible thing to watch; I can't imagine what it is like for her. She is currently on her meds and doing pretty well.

You sound like a very bright guy, but you can't think your way out of this one. You need help. Get to a doctor and get regulated. There are meds they can give you that will not make you a zombie. Also, having a serious medical issue like an amputation would cause issues for any of us. Don't minimize what is happening to you, and get the help that can need.

Hang in there, and if you want to talk off line, drop me a message.

Good luck,

Fitz