[ilya]

is "Poker for Fun and Profit" by Irwin Steig. Has anyone read this gem?

Some highlights:

"...have faith in the eternal mediocrity of the mob."

"Glut, immediately upon arriving, sneaks a snack. Before the game gets under wya, he takes a fat sandwich and washes it down with root beeer. During the game, he assaults the buffet between deals. Hunger keeps him from staying in too many pots; it is easy to fold when the buffet is so near...he is a loser because he cannot defeat his appetite."

"Pro reads no books, sees no plays, chases no women...during a game he prefers not to discuss hands. Away from it he discusses nothing else. He is a bore."

"In serious poker, women are a nuisance...so, if a dame crashes your stag poker game, try to discard gallantry. Beat her brains out if you can."

"If a woman crashes your game, do not try to bluff her. A woman always wants to know how the plot will unfold."

"You should know some of the common methods of provoking anger...they reduce to three categories:
1.Challenges to your virility
2. Challenges to your intelligence
3. Stalling
Every man identifies himself with activities in which success symbolizes his virility. Many men who lost their money in the Wall Street crash of 1929 became impotent for varying periods of time. Imply that a man is a faggot, and his voice is likely to rise an octave as he protests."

But aside from all the wonderful insanity, it's actually a pretty solid book.