[diebitter]

Inspired by Blarg's Cleese suggestion, howabout this if he says something putting you or yours down:

"I see. Well, of course, this is just the sort of blinkered philistine ignorance I've come to expect from you non-creative garbage. You sit there on your loathsome spotty behinds squeezing blackheads, not caring a tinker's cuss for the struggling artist. You excrement, you whining hypocritical toadies with your colour TV sets and your Tony Jacklin golf clubs and your bleeding masonic secret handshakes. You wouldn't let me join, would you, you blackballing bastards. Well I wouldn't become a Freemason if you went down on your stinking knees and begged me. "


Tell us his subject matter, we could come up with something better based on that, I reckon.