Sophmore year of college, my and friend get back from winter break a day before everyone else, decide to get absolutely trashed.

First, we split a fifth of Cuervo (had a 3rd in rotation for a while, admittedly--and he took the worm).

Then, we took a case of beer and invaded the common room belonging to some quasi-friends of ours who had a Nintendo 64 to fire up some drunk MarioCart... we came up with the following game; play heads up in race mode, everytime you win you chug a half beer. Of course there is recreational drinking going on on the side as well. At first I dominated; I clearly remember being ahead 12-1 based on empties. Also, at this point the dude who's common room we invaded straggles out to complain (it's 3am, he's on the tennis team, for some reason they're back early to do some indoor training of whatever). He gets told to shut the fk up and get back in his hole. Realizing we're drunk beyond reason, he goes back to bed. Next thing I clearly remember is about an hour later I'd guess, the score is now 13-12 me, and I am basically too drunk to operate the controls. Tennis player then came back out, yelled at us some more, my friend stands up, slams his controller down, and full-on kicks this tennis player in the nuts, I mean HARD.

We evacuated pretty quickly, the jacker called security on us but we were in good with them and by the time they showed we were basically comatose watching Big Lebowski back at our place.