What on earth makes you think that we owe anything to anyone just because we (fill in the blank). It could be golf or poker or skiing. Hopefully, you have developed enough character to do the right thing with your life. It sounds like you are at a crossroads and are looking for answers. Hopefully, you can take it upon yourself to live your life in a way that makes the world a better place. Giving money to causes that you believe in or giving your time to help people and causes that you believe in. If you have enough money and time to play poker and own a computer you probably have enough to buy "toys for tots" or dontae a turkey to the local food bank. It sounds like you have smoked too much weed and are contemplatinmg the vastness of the universe (ala the scene in "Animal House"). Lead a good life, be a good person, do unto others and try not to overthink everything. Don't sweat the details. Relax and don't take everything so seriously. Poker is a small distraction in a much bigger picture.