[InchoateHand]

War on Christians. (I suck at spelling and "Christmas" was already taken).

War on rightwingers. (would be fun).

War on Whiskeytown. (this guy irritates me, I hate his "spirituality," I hate that stupid avatar, I hate the fact that he thinks he is some special musician, I hate the fact that he is too [censored] stupid to appreciate the Replacements, I hate the fact that he makes repetitive posts about marijuana as if he just discovered it, I hate the fact that he thinks he is somehow "mature" or "responsible" when istewart beats him in both camps. Definitely necessary).

War on Nouns. (ongoing)

War on People Who Think Christmas Has Anything to Do With Christ (too [censored] time consuming)

War on People who voted for Bush (achievable, genocidal)

War on People Who Think They Are Smart But Really Nuh-Uh, They Are Not Smart They Are Dumb Like [censored] Stupid Style Dumb and Should Seriously Consider Shutting the [censored] Up (impossible, but ever-so-desirable)

War on Responsibility (victory is ours)

War on Brown People (in progress)

War on Battered Women (winnable)