I haven't read every post, but here's my take on the situation.

Bring your child to day care 2 days per week. My daughter is 4 in preschool and she really looks forward to going. I think part of the reason she likes it so much is because it's not every day.

Schedule more of your poker time for the night hours. This should probably increase your general winrate. Also when comparing poker winnings to day care cost you should obviously benifit here as well because you won't be paying so much. The key to this idea is if you are able to schedule in more night time playing comfortably, without neglecting hubby too much. During the days the child is at home with you, take a nap with him/her at naptime. It will help get you through some of the later night playing. A 2 hour nap could get you through 3-4 hours of prime time night games reasonably.

I don't think you're wasting your life. You may have a little guilt running through you because of the situation. If you can pull off the above idea succesfully,I think you'll feel a lot better about your circumstance.