You seem like a pretty sophisticated poster, so maybe I'm not understanding your question, but WTH:
The rankings against 1-9 random hands are well known:
http://www.gocee.com/poker/HE_Value.htm
The median hand for any number of players is easy to pick out from the list. E.G. against 9 opponents, the median hand is J4s, since half the 169 possible hands have more equity and half have less (assuming I picked the right row).
Of course "random" is not much of a system, so I guess you mean a ranking of hands within a preselected group of hands? I think this is pretty easy to generate assuming all hands go to showdown. I haven't seen it done, but offhand I don't see how the relative rankings would end up different from the random case.
FWIW, eastbay did some interesting things
in this thread. But he started with random hands and only considered the HU case.
Edit: I see now cnfuzzed posted the gocee link too. The naked chicks thing threw me off. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]