Every year I go as a redneck.

I put on old paint jeans with holes.
A white T-shirt with black shoe polish all over it.
old tennis shoes with holes.
A trucker-type hat.
A folded-in-half nudie mag hanging out of my back pocket.
Some weird facial hair design.
A 6-pack of tall-boy Schlitz's which I dangle from my belt loop so that "wherever I go, there's beer."
A toothpick hanging from my mouth.

That's pretty much it. I also sport the accent, and walk around telling people that I'm meeting for the first time that "I'm workin for the city, just tryin to put some change in my pocket.", and "You want a tall, cold one!?" Stuff like that.

People that meet me for the first time actually think I'm not in costume. I love it. People that have known me for years KNOW that I'm not in costume. I hate it.

My life sucks and I'm a dirtball.