[Ulysses]

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My first thoughts were to quit and run home, yes my wife had the same first idea too, I find it funny as an adult I want to go run home to momma but there it is. This however is the quitter’s option and I have too much to do to just quit on life.

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slavic, I hope it helped you in some small way to write this message. But when I read sentences like the one above, I can't help but feel that you still have a very long way to go before you can even start to deal with this tragedy. Going home where you can have some support and unconditional love is not a move of a quitter. If that's what you need to do right now, go home for a while. You can definitely do that without quitting on life.


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Now for the first time since I began playing many years ago I’m scared to sit at a table, and there are no counselors who know. I have always had a natural emotional detachment that I just can’t muster right now and I don’t know how to get it back.

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Again, slavic, those sound like words coming from someone whose world has been thrown upside down. This doesn't surprise me at all. I can't imagine how I could function in your position, much less focus and function at the table.


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unfortunately I haven’t found the book that can cure this ill.

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If only it were that easy. There are few losses as great as this and the pain is obviously of a similar magnitude.

I'm glad to hear you are getting counseling. Don't hesitate to lean on your family even more than you are doing now. While there's nothing to make things better, I hope that in time you are able to focus more on your memories than the loss. These of course are probably pretty hollow words right now, but it sounds like you have some other great children as well, so hopefully you can all get through this together.

Peace.