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Old 12-05-2005, 03:23 PM
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Default OT: How I Met My Wife

This post is a continuation of my previous post, 5 Stories and 5 Lessons on Women. It's the story of how I met my wife. I post this because I believe there are several lessons within this story that could be of use to some of the younger posters on this forum.

As I cautioned earlier, I don't make any claim to being the smoothest, coolest cat on the internet. Most of what I know about women has come through experience. I've made so many stupid mistakes along the way, that I can't even count them, but even idiots like me get it right occassionally. This is because I'm always willing to learn from my mistakes.

So let's begin. All names have been changed to protect the guilty.

I met my wife at a summer cook-out thrown by my friend, Joe. Joe's girlfriend (now wife), Susan, had invited a couple of friends over. One of these friends was the now Mrs. Hobbes.

The initial meeting isn't of much interest. I saw Mrs. Hobbes, thought she was very attractive, and walked over and chatted her up. I can't really remember what I said. I think we just made some small talk.

I ran into Mrs. Hobbes a couple more times during group activities, and flirted with her a bit, but that was about all. She seemed to like me, but I couldn't be positive.

A few weeks later a group of my friends and I attended a music festival. Mrs. Hobbes was there with my friend Joe's girlfriend, Susan. Her and a group of women had driven to the event together.

Well, I decided that I was going to make something happen that day. I waited for a good opportunity and sat down next to Mrs. Hobbes and brought out what I thought was my A game. Oh, what a witty, charming, suave devil I was! Mrs. Hobbes was so impressed that she barely paid me any attention.

Frustrated at my misreading of the situation, I decided that my time would be better spent getting as drunk as humanely possible. This did not impress Mrs. Hobbes either.

By the time the music festival had ended, most of us were pretty well sauced, even some of the girls. The men and women split up, as we were driving separately. Joe's girlfriend, Susan, wasn't feeling well and was going to drop her friends off and go to bed.

The guys left together and made plans to continue drinking. We also immediately started pestering Joe to get his girlfriend's friends to come drink with us. One of the guys in the group had been fooling around with one of them at the music festival, and I of course, wanted another crack at charming the pants off Mrs. Hobbes (yes, I was too drunk to just give it up).

Joe called his girlfriend and tried to talk her into sucking it up and staying out with us. He was clearly having no success when he thrust the cellphone at me and said, "here."

Puzzled, I took the phone. Thinking that Joe was turning the arm twisting of his girlfriend over to me, I said, "Hey, Susan, what's up?"

The response wasn't what I expected. At the other end was a very confused Mrs. Hobbes. "Um, no," she said. "It's me, Mrs. Hobbes."

"Oh," I said. "Why am I talking to you?"

"I don't know," replied Mrs. Hobbes. "Susan just handed me the phone." I glanced over at Joe and saw him snickering. I had to think fast or this was going to get very awkward very quickly.

"Ok," I said. "I'm glad I have you on the line because I wanted to let you know that I'm taking you to dinner tomorrow tonight."

"Are you asking me or are you telling me?"

"I'm telling you," I said, feeling much the same as when I push all my chips in on a semi-bluff.

[pause]

Oh,sh*t. That was a really arrogant thing to say! What are you DOING!

*giggle*

Yeah, baby! Who's the man?!

"Uh, ok. I have to work, though. I won't be off until 10:00pm."

"No problem."

I hung up and looked over at Joe, who was staring at me wide-eyed. "Damn. That was strong!" he said.

"Yeah, well," I grumped, "that's what happens when your jackassed friend puts you on the spot. You have to improvise."

"Uh, I think you have a problem."

"Problem? What problem? Didn't you just see how money I was? Money!"

"Mmmhmmm. So where do you think you'll be taking her to dinner at 10pm on a Sunday night?"

"F0ck! Do you see what happens when you shove a cellphone at me while I'm unprepared? What's wrong with you?"

[to be continued....]
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