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From left to right:

No. 1: Aspiring big man on campus is mortified that being photographed with these nerds will ruin his chances for home-coming king.

No. 2: Has a major man-crush on Mr. Moosehead.

No. 3: Hoping against reality that being a nerd-groupie will get her laid.

No. 4: Terminally wardrobe-dysfunctional geek can't even look good among the cyber-nerds.

No. 5: Mr. Moosehead, a 40 year-old Computer Science grad student, maintains party host image, despite being shot down by nerd-groupie.