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Have you thought about maybe getting them a one year membership in a jelly of the month club. It's gift that keeps on giving the whole year.
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That's good. That's good. That's good. Hey, if any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here, tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people, and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head. And, I want to look him strait in the eye and tell him: what a cheap, lyiny, no good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, bloodsucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-assed, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey [censored] he is! Hallelujah! Holy [censored]! Where's the Tylenol?
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excellent...cue Randy Quaid's facial expression
