Being up front about this is the best thing you can do for you and your girl. I wish the general population was more like you.

I contracted herpes from a guy who I had unprotected sex with, and who didn't tell me ahead of time that he had it. If he had told me ahead of time, I would have had sex with him with a condom (provided that he wasn't having an outbreak, of course).

I told my next three partners that I had herpes. I told them once I felt that they would be discreet about it. I told them when we had enough knowledge of each other that we were intelligent and good people. All three were interested in me for who I was, not for the sexual being that I am. All three slept with me (with condoms).

I was TERRIFIED of telling them. I felt like they would shun me. I was afraid of anyone knowing. The stigma attached to herpes is awful. But it is so unfounded. It's not the end of the world. Life goes on. There are many more important qualities to desire in a partner than worrying about whether or not they have herpes.

My third partner is my current long term partner. We have been together going on three years. We had protected sex for about a year and a half, and have had unprotected sex for the next year and a half. He has never contracted the disease. We are VERY careful. At any inkling of an outbreak, we have no sex. This can mean a day, three days, fourteen days, whatever it takes. (I do pleasure him in other ways during this time. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img])

This does not mean that he will never contract it. There is always a chance of transmission, regardless of whether or not an outbreak is occurring. Even with a condom (but that is extremely rare.) But we plan to be together for life, and he is very informed about the risk that he is taking, and he loves me and if he gets it... well then he gets it. Not gonna be the end of his world.

Couple more things about your post and some of the responses:
1) The herpes test is reliable. You need a different doctor.
2) One in four PEOPLE have herpes, not just one in four women. Same for genital warts.
3) Herpes does not just happen to promiscuous people.
4) There are herpes dating sites. This may be for you but it is not the be-all end-all.
5) I would highly recommend searching google and going to some of the herpes support sites. There is a lot of info on how to tell your partner. There is a lot of info about the different types of herpes and the different ways to contract or transmit it.

Best of luck to you.