[smokingrobot]

a guy is sitting at a bar minding his own business when a pirate walks in with his fly open and a steering wheel sticking out his pants.

the pirate sits next to the guy and the guy notices his eye patch, hook, peg leg and full pirate regalia.The man ponders the the different embellishments and thinks baout all the great stories the pirate must have about them, but cannot understand what the steering wheel is for, so he strikes up a conversation, "Hey priate, how'd you get that eye patch?"

"Arr, me bird plucked mine eye out!"

"And what about that hook?"

"Arr, a shark 10 foot long ate my hand off!"

"...And the peg leg?"

"Me leg was taken off by a cannonball!"

"The eye patch, hook, and peg leg are all understandable, but why do you have a steering wheel sticking out your fly?"

"Aye, it drives me NUTS!"