I started off at the beginning of this year. I learned the game from a friend of mine and deposited a couple of hundred bucks into my PP account. I lost a lot initially. I worked hard at improving my game and slowly but surely managed to recover my losses and made a lot of money playing high stakes NL on PP. I am a poster on the MHNL forums.

I am 28 and a very patient person by nature. I come from a very traditional and religious Indian family. I am not the religious type and dont believe in god. My parents were here in the US to visit me over the summer. I always knew that I cannot convince my parents about my poker habits. I never used to play much. I used to put in 15 hrs per week and mostly played my A-game. I had a fight with my parents about god sometime in September. That one night I lost 30k which was about half my bankroll. I just tilted so bad that It was a donation spree. Looking back, this was the start of a disaster for me. I managed to recover that lost money within a week. But one thing used to bother me. How I do tell my parents about my poker lifestyle? Its not so easy when you come from a tradiotional and religious Indian family. I started playing confused. I should have taken a break.

Then, I started playing limit poker(100/200 and 50/100). I had no knowledge of limit poker. Please dont ask me why I started playing limit. I lost tons of money playing limit. I had no idea of what I was getting into. I kept losing money at the rate of knots and it did not bother me. I was having 'fun' and then a certain pattern emerged. I used to lose some, win some and at the end of the week, I would be up or down by small amount. I couldnt get over the limit addiction.

And then started a bad downswing which was accentuated by my tiltiness. I lost everything that I had made playing poker and some more. I am almost broke now. In four months from sep-dec, I have had badass swings at the party NL2k and the High stakes limit tables at party. These swings were mostly tilt induced. I should have exhibited better judgement and stopped playing when I knew I was not playing my A-game.

I just woke up from another bad night(and maybe my last) at the party tables. I should have probably dropped down a few stakes. But the gambler in me wanted to make up that lost money NOW. I kind of messed up my career trying to become good at poker. So I am all the more confused as to what I should be doing. I know I can make money at poker but I need a lot of discipline. How do I tell my parents about my poker habit? This one thing could mean a lot to me. Any Indian dudes out there who want to chime in?

I welcome all advice and suggestions to get me out of this hole I have dug for myself. How many of you MHNL players have come close to losing your entire BR and have had to start from scratch again? All advice is greatly appreciated. I need help!