" ... he won't keep score!. Wants NO part of it, no way, no how."


I've yet to hear one good reason why I should.


"The next 3 holes are uneventful, ..."


Except that I parred the second hole, back when you were still keeping score. :-) (And I shot a 46 on the back nine with an 8 on the last hole, for those keeping score! :-) )


"He suggests a wager of 5 bucks for best score on back 9. But...he's got one condition- ... He says "I want to play from the SAME tees". Hmmm, well..that sounds fair MACHO MAN!" But...I agree to this ridiculous "condition" because I MUST have "ACTION".!"


And therein lies the secret to my golf-wagering success. My record is about 20-0, with 10 ties. I've never lost money at golf because I simply won't bet unless I've got WAY the best of it. And the ties are the times when I give back my winnings on the last hole, on purpose, like I offered to do for you. Those who can't stand to play for nothing must play on my terms or go without betting. It's a slam dunk. One time a guy pestered me to bet all during the first three holes. I shot really bad those holes, as usual starting out. On the fourth tee, he offered me one stroke on par threes, 1.5 strokes on par fours, and two strokes on par fives. We played $10 per hole. I won $150, and drove him absolutely bonkers toward the end by not pressing. (He was an ass. Against a friend, we would have made a way to end up nearly even.)


In a sense, the betting ruins part of the fun for me by placing emphasis back on the absurdly arbitrary score-keeping concept. So the way I figure it, if I'm willfully forfeiting pleasure on anothers behalf, I should be compensated.


"He was not at all humiliated by this, [teeing off from lady's tees] by the way."


Humiliated? I loved it! Why the heck do they put the holes so far away in the first place? And what the heck difference does it make where you start from? Some yahoo goes out there in the morning and moves some little peg-held lobes around so that the grass will grow back from where everyone hit last week, and now all of a sudden I am bound by his whim to hit from where he says to, while he's eating a hotdog and watching a hockey game? I don't get it.


Score-keeping ruins golf. Go play a couple rounds without a pencil, and then come tell me I'm wrong.


Great time, Babe. Thanks. You're a champ.


Tommy